Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about success in midlife – and whether my definition of it is changing.

For most of my adult life, I’ve been pretty good at striving.

Build the career. Grow the business. Earn more. Buy the house. Take on the next project. Set another goal.

And none of those things are bad. I have a good job, a business I’m proud of, a home I love and a life I’m incredibly grateful for.

So why, increasingly, do I find myself craving a simpler life?

Less time staring at a screen. Less rushing between things. Less responsibility. Less stuff to manage.

More time outside. More mountains. More physical work. More proper conversations. More freedom over my time.

And perhaps most importantly, more of that feeling that what I already have is enough.

Are we redefining success in midlife?

I don’t think I’m alone in this.

For years, we’ve been sold a fairly predictable version of success: career progression, promotions, bigger salaries, bigger homes, growing businesses and increasingly optimised lives.

But there are signs that our priorities are shifting.

Research suggests 73% of UK employees now put work-life balance among their top career priorities – ahead of wealth, purpose and job satisfaction. And 65% say what motivates them at work has changed over the past five years.

Among people considering a midlife career change, poor work-life balance, unhealthy working environments and a mismatch in values are some of the biggest reasons for wanting something different.

Perhaps we’re not becoming less ambitious.

Perhaps we’re becoming more selective about what we’re ambitious for.

The freedom trap

There’s an irony in all of this that I’ve noticed in my own life.

Many of the things we pursue are supposed to give us freedom.

We earn more so we can have more choice. We build businesses so we can control our time. We buy property for financial security. We work remotely so we have flexibility.

And then one day you realise you have a mortgage, a business, multiple inboxes, endless passwords, a diary full of commitments and rather a lot of life admin.

Even flexible and remote working has its trade-offs. Working from home has given millions of us more control over where we work, but research also suggests it can leave us feeling more isolated and disconnected.

Sometimes the life we’ve carefully built to give us freedom can start requiring an awful lot of managing.

Maybe ‘more’ isn’t the goal anymore

I noticed this most recently after spending a few days walking the Lake District.

For a few days, life became very small.

Walk. Eat. Swim. Talk. Sleep.

I took a break from social media. I wasn’t constantly checking emails. I wasn’t thinking about what I should be achieving next.

And I felt really content.

It made me wonder whether this desire for slower, simpler living is dissatisfaction with my life – or actually useful information about what I value at this stage of it.

Maybe success at 25, 35 and 45 isn’t supposed to look the same.

Maybe there comes a point when the question changes from “What else can I achieve?” to “How do I actually want my life to feel?”

That feels like a much more interesting question.

Because if I designed my life around how I wanted an ordinary Tuesday to feel – rather than what looked successful from the outside – I’m not sure I’d choose more.

I’d probably choose more time outdoors. Work that feels useful. Enough money without constantly chasing more of it. People I enjoy being around. Adventures to look forward to. And enough space in my week to actually experience my life rather than constantly manage it.

Perhaps that’s still ambition.

Just pointed in a different direction.

Perhaps redefining success in midlife isn’t about giving up on ambition at all.

Maybe it’s about deciding what enough looks like for you.

So perhaps the question isn’t whether we should stop striving.

Maybe it’s simply:

What are we striving for now?